Bowling Humor

Come to the Dark Side

red bowling humor ball

Some Bowling Humor instances of intervention from the dark force.

Bowling is one of the most loved participant sports ever. However, unknown to many people, bowling humor also has a dark side that silently lurks within the confines of every alley; waiting...

Bowling Humor 1
Flying Bowling Balls?

The laws of physics clearly state that bowling balls cannot fly, but try telling that to Helen Hatch of Richmond, Va. and you will get an argument to the contrary. You see, in 1964, during a national tournament at the Queenstown Bowl near Washington D.C., Helen and a stunned crowd witnessed the awesome power of the dark side.

Helen had been rolling the ball fairly well that day, but not getting any breaks. She had this strange feeling that something ominous out there was working against her. You know the feeling. We all get it from time to time when the pins seem to defy nature, and somehow manage to continue standing, when clearly they should be laying on the deck. Even so she was not prepared for what happened in the sixth frame of her third game.

She lined up her shot, and effortlessly rolled her ball down the alley straight at the pins. Then, just as it was arriving at the first pin, the laws of nature unraveled. Her ball took flight! It rose into the air and sailed completely over the pins, landing in the pit behind them. It had not touched or knocked over a single one. Helen's jaw dropped in bewilderment. The spectators gaped. Judges were summoned.

A closer inspection revealed a small piece of the pinsetter had come loose and fallen onto the lane just in front of the racked pins, acting as a ramp to send Helen's ball airborne. After a brief consultation, the officials ruled 'interference' and allowed her to shoot the frame over. However, the dark forces, had not yet inflicted enough bowling humor on Helen that day. Somehow her second attempt found the middle of the pins leaving the big four split.

Bowling Humor 2
This Story is a Little Shakier

Unexpected flight is not the only way the dark force has to interfere with the path of our bowling balls, as Agnes Kasner of Portand Oregon can attest to. During her weekly league in 1966, Agnes tossed her ball toward the pins in the same manner as she had done many times before, but this time the ball would never make it. Seconds after Agnes released her ball the bowling alley began to shake and tremble with such force that it caused her ball to literally stop in the middle of the lane about three-quarters of the way to the pins.

After the small earth tremor subsided and things in the bowling center settled down a bit, the league decided to continue play and Agnes was allowed to re-roll her shot due to 'interference'. Some people would call this bowling humor incident a coincidence, but bowling insiders know that it was the dark force having a little fun by messing with Agnes' day.

Bowling Humor 3
Mysterious forces deny access to White House Bowling Alley

Few Americans know that the White House has it's own bowling alley. It was a gift to President Harry Truman in 1947. In 1955 the alley was moved from the basement of the west wing to the Old Executive Office Building to make room for the Secret Service. Of all the Presidents since it's inauguration, Richard Nixon was the most avid Bowler, who is rumored to have bowled on the alleys regularly, even in the mists of his Watergate scandals.

In 1950 a White House Bowling league was formed, consisting mainly of employees and staff members from the presidential residence. Today this league is recognized as the oldest accredited bowling league in our nation's capital. However there is a dark force that has taken over their beloved bowling lanes and denied them access for the last seven years.

Shortly after September the 11th, the league was turned away by officials, stating that they were a security risk, despite the fact that every member had White House clearances. The Secret Service has confirmed that the league was denied access but said security is no longer an issue, and blames the current problem on construction services renovation of the Old Executive Office Building. "Once the construction project is complete, this matter will be revisited," said White House spokesman Ken Lisaius. However, bowling insiders know that this is yet another example of a mysterious dark force that has secretly taken control of our bowling facilities.

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